Government backtracks after tarnishing the image of Indian Voluntary Sector

Pronounced guilty sans a fair trial

Few weeks back, a single statement made by the Hon’ble Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh to an American Journal that a few Indian NGOs in the state of Tamil Nadu are being funded by the American and Scandinavian NGOs for the anti-nuclear protest at Koodankulam had done a serious damage to the entire voluntary sector in India. His statement was further endorsed by very senior leaders of the government in media. The PMO made a statement that the government is ready to reveal records which it claims show how foreign donations were used to give local agitators daily handouts of money, food and liquor. The sentiments expressed by the Prime Minister had gone viral not just in the Indian media but even the media at the global level covered this story which led to the debate that Indian NGOs are misusing the foreign funds and are engaged in anti-national activities.

Sudden volte-face

However, today’s newspaper reports that the government made a sudden volte-face in the Rajya Sabha. In his reply, the Hon’ble Minster of State in PMO, V Narayana Swamy has informed the country that “it has not been proved so far whether that money (foreign money) is being used for the protests. Investigation is on the matter”. It means NGOs have been pronounced guilty without any evidence or investigation. This whole episode has tarnished the image of Indian Voluntary Development organisations not in India but also globally.  The sector which is known worldwide and in India for its innovations, neutrality and highest levels of intellectual input in socio-economic growth became victim of doubts and loss of credibility.

Voluntary sector – an easy target

The voluntary sector has always been the target of the ruling elite whenever any social movement takes place in the country. The first was of the independence struggle in 1857 which resulted in the formulation of Societies Registration Act of 1860 which is still operational in its timeworn form.  In this country the more professional and well defined Indian Companies Act has come for private sector with the exclusive Ministry as its sounding board, but nothing of that sort for the development organisations. The clause of “Political Activities” has been incorporated in the Foreign Contribution Act, 2010. This act is the only Act in the country which is regulatory in nature (as compared to FEMA for private sector) and managed by Home Ministry in most secretive way. Needless to say that original FCRA was the punishment given to India Voluntary Organisations for participating in Jay Prakash Movement in 1976.The Voluntary Sector was forefront in the country in articulating the voice of people which included those of uneven economic benefits, widespread corruption in the system, heavy degradation of natural resources and depleting quality of life of urban and rural poor.  So the history of such social movement gifted the sector with more restricted Income Tax Act, where in by amendment in 2008, all those who speak and ask question were debarred from raising funds by redefining section 2(15). The sector 2(15) of the Income tax Act defines the charitable organisations which can get Income Tax relief, any by amending it government put all of the development organisations in the category where no business like activity even if it is in line with charitable purpose is allowed. Undoubtedly, the new FCRA of 2010 came as the additional gift for speaking for poor in the country. Not only these Indian voluntary organisations have to take clearance from at least three ministries, namely, External Affairs, Home and undefined nodal ministry if they want to invite any person from foreign country.

Today public bashing of voluntary development organisations has become a  fashion as one can go scot-free after making any statement in public domain. The above regulatory changes and practise weaken the voluntary sector, important pillar of Indian democracy.  The implications of above changes are more disastrous at the grassroots.  Whenever there is any Maoist attack NGOs are blamed without any evidence.  This results not only in questioning the credibility of the sector but also stringent implementation of restrictive laws. The VOs in Northeast are forced to report quarterly about their work to the local police. It is still worse in Chhattisgarh where they are supposed to report daily to local police and they have to give a written undertaking that they will not raise voice against any corruption in implementation of national or state laws.  The voluntary development organisations are the only institutions in the country where police comes at the door to investigate. The logic of “Natural Justice is not followed as far as dealing with VOs is concerned. The law of natural justice, on which our system is based, says one is innocent unless proven guilty, whereas for VOs it is the other way where one is guilty unless proven otherwise.  There has been unfortunate tradition of using police and Income Tax to silence the voice of dissent in our country and the latest victim is the voluntary sector. This systematic approach of last few years of creating fear psychosis among VOs has resulted in deafening silence today. There has been recent development which would have otherwise attracted the response from the voluntary sector, but no one has spoken anything.There is no significant social movement after ‘Anna Movement” which resulted in numerous income tax notices. No talk of dangerous technology after FCRA threats.

True spirit of partnership is critical to a robust democratic framework, not threats and attacks

As citizens of the most respected democracy in the world we expect that protest and the space to raise question is the basic fundamental right given by the Indian Constitution.  We do expect that rather than attacking the sector, government must reinforce the relationship of partnership and make an enabling environment wherein genuine organisations can continue to contribute in nation building without any fear.  The time has come to demonstrate the maturity of socio-political system whereby political, business and civil society works hand in hand to make India a better place to live.
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Author: Harsh Jaitli, CEO, VANI

The Godfather Saga in Uttarpardesh

Mulayam Singh Yadav is happiest man on earth. His son has not only defeated all his lifelong foes in one blow, also cemented position in his party and among people of Uttar Pradesh. The Three time CM of UP is have handed over chair to his son.

   

Political dynasties should be biggest wonder in a democracy. Nowhere in the world, have such large number of hereditary politicians joined politics like India. In a society evolved over foundation of VARN-VYAVAYSTA, politicos are today’s brahmins and Khatriya. Politics may well not be called family business, but it is no doubt has become business of these families. Today we see dynasties playing pivotal role From Srinagar to Chennai. All the Second, third and even fourth generations of political giants have jumped into politics.  Some of them sustained, some managed to survive and many faded into oblivion. Very few have added aura in family name. Most tried to sell family name, until there were no takers. Parties made by forefather got weakened and degenerated.

 

Akhilesh has done it in reverse. He got the victory his father never achieved. Few years back, Samajwadis were thrown out of power by Mayawatis landslide victory. Party’s slogun “UP me dum hai, Kyoki Jurm yaha kum hai” has become biggest joke of time. Defeat in polls followed by vindictive actions by government brought family and party into pressure. Akhilesh took it firmly, worked in grassroots, reorganized party. He was instrumental to distance party from tainted bahubalis and filmy glamour.  He brought old faithfuls back.  His talks of development and sober face made him a moderate leader that UP people were looking.  He may lake his father’s fluidity and flip-flop politics, but seems worthy take his UP further.

The high challenge he will have to face now, is not coming from outside. The immediate challenge is to maintain rule of law in UP. Ironically, his party people are seen as part of problem rather than solution. Few incidents during election victory and oath taking ceremony do not send good messages. Also, Akhilesh’s cabinet has its share of alleged criminals, has eroded level of enthusiasm for him. 

    

This Samajwadi saga reminds me Mario Puzo’s Godfather. Mike stays away his father’s empire, gets American education and girlfriends unlike his brothers. But when the time comes, its mike that takes reigns from his father. However, family power diminishes and other powers go dominant. Mike waits, for right time. And one day, he wipes all his opponents on one blow, taking back his families position in mofiosso, Becoming DON Corleone. First movie makes Michel Carleone a hero. Akhilesh has wiped all his father’s opponent in this election and became CM. I wish the similarity of Michel and Akhilesh end here. 

The second and third sequel of godfather are lesser known. In these movies, Michel tries to get his mofiosso business legitimize only to fail again and again. Akhilesh‘s party is still seen as a bunch of goons in large sections of society. People have voted SP because he managed to gain people’s confidence for being a moderate and responsible version of his father. UP expects him to change SP as a party of governance and development. Doing this, Akhelesh shall reach those heights his father didn’t.

Uttar Pradesh cannot afford him to fail. So let’s pray for Akhilesh. 

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Manish Singh   ritumanishsingh@gmail.com

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That Bullet killed Many …

Rahul Sharma, IPS and Police superintendent of Bilaspur- pulled trigger of his service revolver and killed himself. That fateful afternoon of 12^th march, 2012 he put rest to his misery, still unknown to rest of the world. Some say it was her family issue, some claim he wasn’t going well with his superiors. His cause of suicide has disputed opinions, but respect to the man goes undisputed.

Just a few days ago, Mr. Sharma managed transfer to bilaspur after serving and winning people’s heart at Raigarh. Insiders say he was very happy as he was going to be united with his family. His Beautiful wife is serving at high position in railways and stays in Bilaspur, with two cute baby-boys of couple. Even in his Raigarh days, Mr Sharma attempted to spend every possible holiday with family, virtually appearating between family and work Cities.

After serving in disturbed area like Dantwada and tough place like Raigarh, this posting was naturally joyous for him. And then he pulled the trigger in just second month of posting.

A man, worshipped by colleagues, adored by journalists, respected by politicians, feared by bad guys and loved by people, pumped bulled in own head. This news shocked people, sympathy flooded in. All the SMS moving, face-book flooding with RIPs, Candles lighting on public places, tell that he was just not another policeman. He was RAHUL SHARMA.

So, what it meant to be Rahul Sharma.

Ask ordinary constable and he shall tell a “caring forefather of police family”.

Ask ordinary people and they shall say- “A Policewala who is rather reassuring then intimidating”

Ask youth and they will tell – “An officer, we like to be one day”.

Ask social, Sports and people’s organization and they tell – “A man always eager to help”

Ask his insiders and they’ll tell – “an administrator, who clings to his integrity and self respect more than anything else”.

Ask those who fought with him against crime and Maoists, they’ll say – "A brave and fearless fighter"

And that one bullet, killed belief of his thousands of believers. That one bullet has sunk into brains and hearts of many. That one bullet has blown people’s faith on the society, relations and system.

That bullet has killed childhood of two innocent boys. Those two kids of Rahul Sharma will raise as fatherless children. They will live, day and night, month and years, till end of their life with heart-aching fact - Their father shot himself due to so and so reason. Mr. Sharma may have got rid of his whatever misery, his ghost shall haunt his children longer then he would have lived normally.

Children will see such pictures to remember how their father looked like  

His wife shall live with the fact that she failed to sooth her husband. She will live to regret and think why his husband searched solace in gun rather than her bun. When and how she lost grip of love, faith and sharing of that may have reduced the burden. That bullet has killed some womanly thing of a women’s life.     

And who pulled the trigger to kill all these - Rahul Sharma himself.......So that bullet has also blown my faith on Rahul Sharma.

Sharma Sahab, Aapse Ye Ummeed Nahi Thi…!!!
   
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PS: Rahul Sharma's Suicidal note is found. As reported by News papers, he blamed extremes pressure by one of his superior and some arrogant high-court judge. 


The picture below is available on facebook .....

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By Manish Singh , ritumanishsingh@gmail.com   

Views published in post are author's own and personal 

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Learning to Sit Alone, in a Quiet Empty Room

‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’

 ~Blaise Pascal

Think about some of the problems of our daily life, and how many of them would be eased, if we could learn to sit alone, in a quiet empty room, with contentment. If you’re content to sit alone quietly, you don’t need to eat junk food, to shop on impulse, to buy the latest gadget, to be on social media to see what everyone else is talking about or doing, to compare yourself to others, to make more money to keep up with the Joneses, to achieve glory or power, to conquer other lands or wage war, to be rude or violent to others, to be selfish or greedy, to be constantly busy or productive.

You are content, and need nothing else. It solves a lot of problems.

Can you sit alone in an empty room? Can you enjoy the joy of quiet?

Most of us have trouble sitting alone, quietly, doing nothing. We have the need to do something, to check our inboxes and social media, to be productive. Sitting still can be difficult if you haven’t cultivated the habit.

I’ve been learning. In the morning, as my coffee is brewing, I sit. Even for a few minutes, at first, it is instructive. You learn to listen to your thoughts, to be aware of your urges to do something else, to plan and set goals. You learn to watch yourself, but to just sit still and not act on those urges. You learn to be content with stillness.

You learn to savor the quiet. It’s something most of us don’t have, quiet, and it takes some getting used to. When we’re driving our cars or out exercising or eating or working, we have music playing or we talk with people or we have the television on. Quiet can be amazing, though, because it helps us calm down, contemplate, slow down to savor the emptiness.

An empty room, too, is a luxury. I try to empty my room of clutter, so that it’s fairly bare. That leaves only me, and the room is a blank slate ready to be filled with me, my creativity, my silence. I love a spartan room.

Being alone is another pleasure we too often neglect. When we are alone, we go on the Internet or TV to see what else is going on, what others are doing or saying, instead of just being alone. This isolation is a necessary thing, that allows us to find ourselves, to learn to be content with little instead of always wanting more.

Can you practice being alone, being still, being quiet? Just a little at first, then perhaps a bit more. Listen, watch, learn about yourself. Find contentment. Need nothing more.

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Post written by Leo Babauta.http://zenhabits.net/alone/

Picuitre from http://www.robertronnes.com/MyDiaryInMusic.html

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अमीर की गरीबी और गरीब की अमीरी

बड़े दिनों के बाद देश में जनांदोलनों की आवाज सुनाई पड़ रही है। एक की बागडोर अन्ना के पास है, तो दूसरे पर दावा रामदेव कर रहे हैं। दोनों ही अलग तरह के शख्स हैं। अन्ना स्वभाव से फकीर। रालेगण सिद्धि गांव के एक मंदिर के छोटे-से कमरे में रहते हैं। अपनी कोई संपत्ति नहीं। उन्होंने गांधीवादी तरीके से गांव की काया ही बदल दी। बिना धनशक्ति के। यह गांव आज महाराष्ट्र में आदर्श गांव कहा जाता है। वहीं बाबा रामदेव गरीब परिवार में पैदा हुए। अन्ना की तरह ज्यादा पढ़े-लिखे नहीं हैं। बचपन में ही संन्यास ले लिया और योगी बन गए। भगवा धारण कर लिया। स्वामी रामदेव के पहले तक योग एक पुरातनपंथी परंपरा थी। बाबा ने योग को आधुनिक भारत के लिए फैशनेबल कर दिया। रोज सुबह पार्क में लोग योग करने लगे। लेकिन बाबा खुद संन्यासी होने के बावजूद फकीर नहीं रह पाए। वह अरबपति बन गए। बाबा ने कारोबार शुरू किया और जमकर पैसा कमाया।

टीवी ने बाबा को 'लार्जर-दैन-लाइफ' बना दिया। खाकपति हो या अरबपति, नेता हो या अभिनेता, देसी हो या विदेशी उनके चेलों की जमात बढ़ने लगी। वह प्राइवेट जेट पर चलने लगे, प्राइवेट आइलैंड उनको गिफ्ट किए जाने लगे। समलैंगिकता हो या फिर कन्या भ्रूण-हत्या, बाबा रामदेव हर मसले पर अपनी राय देने लगे। देखते-देखते बाबा छा गए। उनसे मिलने के लिए और उनके योग शिविरो में शामिल होने के लिए लाखों की फीस वसूली जाने लगी। रामदेव ने एक पुरानी भारतीय परंपरा को पूरी तरह से पूंजीवाद के आवरण में प्रोडक्ट बना दिया, योग का कॉरपोरेटाइजेशन कर दिया। योग की मार्केटिंग के साथ-साथ बाबा भी एक ब्रांड बन गए। उनके नाम पर पैसे की बरसात होने लगी और उनके नाम का सिक्का सरपट भागने लगा। बाबा बिना किसी सरकार के सरकार बन गए। उनके सहयोगी और अनुयायी कहने लगे कि बाबा किसी भी राजनेता और प्रधानमंत्री से ज्यादा पावरफुल हो गए हैं।

 पावर किसी को भी नहीं बख्शती। बाबा भी महत्वाकांक्षी हो गए। मैं कई बार उनसे मिला। हर बार मुझे उनमें बदलाव नजर आया। वह हमेशा उदार, मृदुभाषी रहे, लेकिन उनके पीछे हमेशा एक नई शख्सीयत मुझे दिखती रही। पहली बार तब चौंका, जब उन्होंने कहा कि वह देश की राजनीतिक व्यवस्था से परेशान हैं और उसे बदलना चाहते हैं। उन्होंने कहा कि वह अपनी एक पार्टी बनाएंगे। उनका अपना मैनिफेस्टो होगा, जिसे उन्होंने जारी भी किया था। यह भी कहा कि वह अपने उम्मीदवार खड़े करेंगे। हालांकि उन्होंने मुझे एक इंटरव्यू में कहा था कि वह कभी भी कोई पद नही लेंगे और न ही चुनाव लडेंगे। न जाने क्यों मुझे वीपी सिंह की वह लाइन याद रही थी कि शेर की सवारी तो आसान है, लेकिन उससे उतरना बहुत मुश्किल। मैंने उनसे प्रतिवाद किया कि भारत की परंपरा में ऋषियों ने कभी भी राजनीतिक सत्ता को अपने हाथ में लेने की कोशिश नहीं की, चाहे वह वशिष्ठ मुनि हों या फिर विश्वामित्र। सभी समाज में रहते हुए भी समाज से अलग ही रहे। राजनीति में उनकी भूमिका सिर्फ सलाहकार की रही। राजा ने सलाह मांगी, तो दे दी। राजाओं ने भी उनका सम्मान किया। संन्यासियों के चरणों मे बैठकर शिक्षा ली, ज्ञान का आशीर्वाद ग्रहण किया, लेकिन किसी भी मुनि को राजसत्ता नहीं सौंपी।

भारतीय परंपरा में धर्म और राजनीति हमेशा से अलग रहे। दोनों का अलग स्थान रहा। दोनों ने एक दूसरे का सम्मान किया, लेकिन एक दूसरे की भूमिका को अपनाने की कोशिश नहीं हुई। इसलिए भारतीय परंपरा में दोनों के बीच टकराव के उदाहरण विरले ही मिलते हैं। बाबा रामदेव के राजनीतिक एजेंडे को सुनकर मुझे लगा कि बाबा समाज से अर्जित अपनी भूमिका को पलटने के मूड में हैं। वह राजनीति में धर्म का घालमेल करना चाहते हैं और भारतीय परंपरा को नए सिरे से लिखना चाहते हैं। उनसे तर्क किया, लेकिन वह बेकार था। फिर कुछ संगठनों और राजनीति के पुराने घाघ लोगों से उनकी मुलाकात की खबरें आने लगीं। मेरी आशंका सच होने लगी। फिर सुना कि वह दिल्ली के रामलीला मैदान में अनशन करना चाहते हैं। और इसकी तैयारी में वह देश के कोने-कोने में घूम रहे हैं। वह दिन भी आ गया, जब वाकई बाबा रामदेव धरने पर बैठ गए। सरकार के सबसे ताकतवर मंत्री प्रणब मुखर्जी के मनाने के बाद भी। कुछ अटपटा लगा। लेकिन उनके पहले अन्ना हजारे का अनशन देखा था। उसकी अभूतपूर्व सफलता से प्रभावित भी था। सो कुछ नहीं बोला। लगा भारतीय राजनीति और समाज में कुछ ऐसे बुनियादी बदलाव हो रहे हैं, जो मैं नहीं देख पा रहा हूं।

बाबा के अनशन में 40-50 हजार आदमी भी जुट गए। यह बाबा की क्षणिक सफलता थी। उनके यहां जुटी भीड़ का स्वरूप सामने आने लगा। रामलीला मैदान का अनशन लोगों में वह उत्साह नहीं पैदा कर पाया, जो अन्ना के जंतर-मंतर ने किया था। बाबा रामदेव के यहां भीड़ जरूर थी, लेकिन ये वो लोग थे, जो बाबा के भक्त थे। रामलीला मैदान एक योग शिविर था। भ्रष्टाचार से लड़ने के लिए कटिबद्ध लोगों का हुजूम नहीं। स्थानीय लोग नदारद। दिल्ली के बाहर भी लोगों में उत्तेजना और उत्साह गायब था। मुझे समझ में आने लगा कि धार्मिक और योगी होने के बाद भी बाबा वो चमत्कार नहीं कर पाए, जो अन्ना की सादगी ने कर दिया। बाबा की ताकत में पैसे का जोर दिखा, संगठन की ताकत दिखी। पैसा और संगठन ही अगर किसी देश में ज्वार पैदा कर पाते, तो आज तक कई अरबपति देश की सत्ता पर आसीन हो गए होते, और संगठन ही अगर ताकत होती, तो आरएसएस कब का देश पर कब्जा कर चुका होता।

साफ है, बाबा रामदेव की आध्यात्मिकता में वह नैतिक आभा नहीं दिखी, जो अन्ना हजारे के फक्कड़पन में लोगों को नजर आई। अन्ना जैसे फकीर में लोगों को नए युग का नया गांधी दिखा और बाबा में एक व्यवसायी। हिन्दुस्तान के लोग समझदार हैं। वो पहले से ही राजनीति के व्यवसायीकरण से त्रस्त हैं। वो फिर किसी दूसरे व्यवसायी के मोहपाश मे क्यों फंसते? इसलिए बाबा रामदेव चार जून के अनशन और अरबों की संपत्ति के बाद भी आज ज्यादा गरीब दिखाई देते हैं और एक फकीर कहीं ज्यादा अमीर। गांधी का यह देश अब भी ज्यादा नहीं बदला है। नैतिकता की पूंजी अब भी उसकी सबसे बड़ी पूंजी है। नैतिकता किसी स्वामी के भगवे चोले की जागीर नहीं है। नैतिकता चोला नहीं, आत्मा देखती है। और आत्मा की आवाज सुनाई नहीं पड़ती वह सिर्फ महसूस होती है

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http://khabar.ibnlive.in.com/blogs/16/631.html

9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn

Kids in today’s school system are not being prepared well for tomorrow’s world. As someone who went from the corporate world and then the government world to the ever-changing online world, I know how the world of yesterday is rapidly becoming irrelevant. I was trained in the newspaper industry, where we all believed we would be relevant forever — and I now believe will go the way of the horse and buggy.

Unfortunately, I was educated in a school system that believed the world in which it existed would remain essentially the same, with minor changes in fashion. We were trained with a skill set that was based on what jobs were most in demand in the 1980s, not what might happen in the 2000s.

And that kinda makes sense, given that no one could really know what life would be like 20 years from now. Imagine the 1980s, when personal computers were still fairly young, when faxes were the cutting-edge communication technology, when the Internet as we now know it was only the dream of sci-fi writers like William Gibson.

We had no idea what the world had in store for us. And here’s the thing: we still don’t. We never do. We have never been good at predicting the future, and so raising and educating our kids as if we have any idea what the future will hold is not the smartest notion.

How then to prepare our kids for a world that is unpredictable, unknown? By teaching them to adapt, to deal with change, to be prepared for anything by not preparing them for anything specific.

This requires an entirely different approach to child-rearing and education. It means leaving our old ideas at the door, and reinventing everything.

My wife and I are among those already doing this. We homeschool our kids — more accurately, we unschool them. We are teaching them to learn on their own, without us handing knowledge down to them and testing them on that knowledge.

It is, admittedly, a wild frontier, and most of us who are experimenting with unschooling will admit that we don’t have all the answers, that there is no set of “best practices”. But we also know that we are learning along with our kids, and that not knowing can be a good thing — an opportunity to find out, without relying on established methods that might not be optimal.

I won’t go too far into methods here, as I find them to be less important than ideas. Once you have some interesting ideas to test, you can figure out an unlimited amount of methods, and so my dictating methods would be too restrictive.

Instead, let’s look at a good set of essential skills that I believe children should learn, that will best prepare them for any world of the future. I base these on what I have learned in three different industries, especially the world of online entreprenurship, online publishing, online living … and more importantly, what I have learned about learning and working and living in a world that will never stop changing.

1. Asking questions. What we want most for our kids, as learners, is to be able to learn on their own. To teach themselves anything. Because if they can, then we don’t need to teach them everything — whatever they need to learn in the future, they can do on their own. The first step in learning to teach yourself anything is learning to ask questions. Luckily, kids do this naturally — our hope is to simply encourage it. A great way to do this is by modeling it. When you and your child encounter something new, ask questions, and explore the possible answers with your child. When he does ask questions, reward the child instead of punishing him (you might be surprised how many adults discourage questioning).

2. Solving problems. If a child can solve problems, she can do any job. A new job might be intimidating to any of us, but really it’s just another problem to be solved. A new skill, a new environment, a new need … they’re all simply problems to be solved. Teach your child to solve problems by modeling simple problem solving, then allowing her to do some very easy ones on her own. Don’t immediately solve all your child’s problems — let her fiddle with them and try various possible solutions, and reward such efforts. Eventually, your child will develop confidence in her problem-solving abilities, and then there is nothing she can’t do.

3. Tackling projects. As an online entrepreneur, I know that my work is a series of projects, sometimes related, sometimes small and sometimes large (which are usually a group of smaller projects). I also know that there isn’t a project I can’t tackle, because I’ve done so many of them. This post is a project. Writing a book is a project. Selling the book is another project. Work on projects with your kid, letting him see how it’s done by working with you, then letting him do more and more by himself. As he gains confidence, let him tackle more on his own. Soon, his learning will just be a series of projects that he’s excited about.

4. Finding passion. What drives me is not goals, not discipline, not external motivation, not reward … but passion. When I’m so excited that I can’t stop thinking about something, I will inevitably dive into it fully committed, and most times I’ll complete the project and love doing it. Help your kid find things she’s passionate about — it’s a matter of trying a bunch of things, finding ones that excite her the most, helping her really enjoy them. Don’t discourage any interest — encourage them. Don’t suck the fun out of them either — make them rewarding.

5. Independence. Kids should be taught to increasingly stand on their own. A little at a time, of course. Slowly encourage them to do things on their own. Teach them how to do it, model it, help them do it, help less, then let them make their own mistakes. Give them confidence in themselves by letting them have a bunch of successes, and letting them solve the failures. Once they learn to be independent, they learn that they don’t need a teacher, a parent, or a boss to tell them what to do. They can manage themselves, and be free, and figure out the direction they need to take on their own.

6. Being happy on their own. Too many of us parents coddle our kids, keeping them on a leash, making them rely on our presence for happiness. When the kid grows up, he doesn’t know how to be happy. He must immediately attach to a girlfriend or friends. Failing that, they find happiness in other external things — shopping, food, video games, the Internet. But if a child learns from an early age that he canbe happy by himself, playing and reading and imagining, he has one of the most valuable skills there is. Allow your kids to be alone from an early age. Give them privacy, have times (such as the evening) when parents and kids have alone time.

7. Compassion. One of the most essential skills ever. We need this to work well with others, to care for people other than ourselves, to be happy by making others happy. Modeling compassion is the key. Be compassionate to your child at all times, and to others. Show them empathy by asking how they think others might feel, and thinking aloud about how you think others might feel. Demonstrate at every opportunity how to ease the suffering of others when you’re able, how to make others happier with small kindnesses, how that can make you happier in return.

8. Tolerance. Too often we grow up in an insulated area, where people are mostly alike (at least in appearance), and when we come into contact with people who are different, it can be uncomfortable, shocking, fear-inducing. Expose your kids to people of all kinds, from different races to different sexuality to different mental conditions. Show them that not only is it OK to be different, but that differences should be celebrated, and that variety is what makes life so beautiful.

9. Dealing with change. I believe this will be one of the most essential skills as our kids grow up, as the world is always changing and being able to accept the change, to deal with the change, to navigate the flow of change, will be a competitive advantage. This is a skill I’m still learning myself, but I find that it helps me tremendously, especially compared to those who resist and fear change, who set goals and plans and try to rigidly adhere to them as I adapt to the changing landscape. Rigidity is less helpful in a changing environment than flexibility, fluidity, flow. Again, modeling this skill for your child at every opportunity is important, and showing them that changes are OK, that you can adapt, that you can embrace new opportunities that weren’t there before, should be a priority. Life is an adventure, and things will go wrong, turn out differently than you expected, and break whatever plans you made — and that’s part of the excitement of it all.

We can’t give our children a set of data to learn, a career to prepare for, when we don’t know what the future will bring. But we can prepare them to adapt to anything, to learn anything, to solve anything, and in about 20 years, to thank us for it

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Post written by Leo Babauta. http://zenhabits.net/kid-skills/

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